Goodbye

aka this story doesn't have a real title because I suck at titles.

It was the third day of the second month of the first year. Mom was in her room crying like she usually did, and Lola was in the downstairs bathroom doing whatever she thought would get her attention. On the fifth day of the seventh month, she was cutting herself. That was when I made her go to counseling.

Every few months I found her doing something else. Binge-eating. Burning herself. She picked up habits from those in her group.

It was the twenty-seventh day of the first month of the first year that I kept her home. She shouldn’t be exposed to that.

She found other ways to harm herself, though. I had hoped today would be a better day for both of them. Instead, I was facing my own demons.

I crawled out of the bedroom window onto the cold, snow and ice roof. I only wore jeans and a bra. All my shirts were dirty because I hadn’t done laundry since last Tuesday, two weeks ago. All I wanted was to sit outside and cry.

A year, two months, and three days ago Dad died. Fourteen months and four days ago our life was good. Dad was coming back from his trip in New York; Mom had a fantastic case and she was going to win—everybody knew it, even the defendant. Lola was captain of the cheer team and the football team was going to be the state champions. I was volleyball captain, and we were going to state. We were going to win, I knew it.

Lola and I were still the envy of every underclassman. We could have any boy we wanted, but I stayed with Chris and Lola had her eyes set on this college kid who didn’t give her the time of day.

I was in the gym, spiking a ball when I got the news. Lola ran into the gym, mascara running down her face and she still held onto a pom-pom. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, but it was slipping to the side.

I missed the ball as Lola ran into the practice game. “What is it?” I had asked her. “What’s wrong?” Whose ass do I have to kick?

Her lips trembled. “Dad’s airplane crashed.”

My best friend Lindsey screamed and I fell to the ground crying.

“You’re going to catch pneumonia.” Chris climbed out the window with his jacket, tugging me up to wrap me into it.

“Maybe I want to.”

He grabbed my chin and yanked it up so I had to look at him.  “Don’t give up on me. You’re not Lola.”

“Chris, I can’t—“

“You can.” He went back through, arms out for me to follow. I did, reluctantly, because I knew if I didn’t he would come back out there and get me. He held me and we fell into the bed that smelled like sweat and Red Bull and the stupid chips I couldn’t stop eating. I started crying into his shoulder.

We stayed like that until Lola came into the room. She was pale and skinny, her long blond hair chopped off.

“What did you do to your hair?” I asked, sitting up and rubbing at my eyes. “It was so pretty…” Before fourteen months ago, she obsessed over her hair and makeup like crazy. She never cut her hair. She wouldn’t let anybody jokingly come near her hair with scissors.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s just hair.” She shook it out of her face and crossed her arms. “Mom’s getting up. I think she wants to go to the…” she could finish the sentence, but I knew what she meant. I pinched Chris so he would wake up. I gave him his jacket back and dug through the piles of clothes until I found a shirt that didn’t smell or look that bad. Maybe it was clean and Lola threw it the ground in one of her fits.

Every five days, Lola would scream and shriek and repeat “Why him?” while throwing whatever she could get her hands on.

That’s how she broke the mirror and cut herself, which started the harming obsession.

I folded into Chris’ arms as Lola left my room, head tucked to his heart. Tha-ump. Tha-ump. Tha-ump. He smelled good too. He was a year older, almost exact—my birthday and Lola’s on the seventh of May while his was on the second of May. He saw me the first day of freshman year, four years, three months, and seventeen days ago. Four years, two months, and three days ago he asked me out.

Two years and seven months and one day ago I broke up with him for another guy.

Two years and seven months and twenty-one days ago we got back together and didn’t let the other go, no matter what happened in their life.

So it surprised me when three minutes ago I walked him down to door and he kissed me like it was goodbye.

about the author:

At age ten, Ashelynn discovered the lost city of Atlantis Narnia-style (it's not that cool) and was kidnapped by a bunch of ninja pirates. She had to beg for her release. A year later, she beat the Devil in a poker game (it wasn't that hard) and owns half of Hell. At fifteen, she decided to write down the stories she made up. She likes writing fiction more than non-fiction, day dreaming more than dreaming, languages more than math, and cake more than pie. She believes in magic and that the most magical time of day is night. She may also be lying about this bio. 

She wears many hats, including book blogger, writer, and full-time student (political science, baby!).